Now that summer is in full swing and caregivers are visiting and being visited by family members, one particular conversation with some errant relatives that has been shared with me by our readers has driven me to respond with a three-word phrase. This concept is as important to family caregivers as any other three little words they may need. So here goes…Nonsense, poppycock and baloney! (Please forgive me for such profanity.)

I am driven to such a response whenever I hear that relatives feel the need to tell family caregivers that they are no longer a caregiver when their loved one is living in a care facility.

At a recent Fearless Caregiver Conference, I even heard from a caregiver who had been slapped in the face with this thoughtless opinion from several of his relatives. So, let me reiterate. Over 90 percent of all caregiving happens at home; but once appropriate facility placement is made, not only are you still your loved one’s caregiver, but you may have added to their lives as well as saving your own. The other thing you have accomplished is to add members to your loved one’s care team.

As far as I am concerned, you are still the captain of that team, responsible for seeing that your loved one receives the best care possible from the facility. But the value you have added to your loved one’s well-being by your carefully determined decision has been multiplied. Just consider the realization that it sure would be nice to be able to spend some time with your loved one as loving son, daughter, husband or wife again, as opposed to emergency medical expert, pharmacist, nutritionist, as well as incontinence specialist.

Now, family caregivers can be armed with those three little words to respond to those who would utter such unfeeling and thoughtless opinions:

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com