FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN
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There are two anniversaries we traditionally mark
when we lose a loved one: their passing and their
birth. The former can be all the more painful at the
one year mark, especially when the loved one was
taken very suddenly and was very young. In addition
to any religious ceremonies that may be conducted,
family members are left to decide what memorials (if
any) would be appropriate to commemorate their loved
one as the years pass.
Last week marked the anniversary of the passing
of a young woman who meant
a great deal to me; someone I
wrote about a few months ago on our shared
birthday.
I met Sara and her family as neighbors many years
ago in Miami, but they all quickly became members of
my own extended family and we stayed close even
after they moved north. Last week, Sara’s sister
Daryl, niece Kiley and mother Coni came back to
Miami to sprinkle some of her ashes into the ocean
she loved so much as she was growing up. It was a
private and simple ceremony, which seemed to be what
Sara would have wanted.
In a city four states away at about the same
time, a close friend from when I lived in North
Carolina was having a similar ceremony with his
spouse and two children. They realized the end
was near for this beloved family member and this
seemed to be the day that they would say goodbye for
the final time. That evening was filled with
hand holding, final loving messages, laughter and
tears. One of the differences between these
two stories is that in one case, the loved one had
time to take part in the planning of the final
moments and memorial ceremonies and in the other,
they did not.
As we complete the
family checklist and advanced directives for
ourselves and our loved ones, how many of us are
willing (or able) to discuss with our loved ones
their wishes for how to celebrate their lives upon
passing? How many of us are willing to share our own
wishes with our loved ones, as well? Wouldn’t it
make a difficult time that much easier to manage?
Share your story about memorial wishes conversations
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
