(With apologies in advance to Jack Webb and Dragnet), The story you are about to hear is true, and has happened in one at each of the previous 66 conferences we have hosted over the past ten years...

 I watched out of the corner of my eye as she strode across the large banquet hall. She was on a determined mission to reach her destination and would not be deterred. And, I was afraid that destination was me.  The year was 2005 and I was standing in the middle of a room filled with family caregivers at one of our Fearless Caregiver Conferences.  To me, the linchpin of the events are always the Question and Answer sessions which usually occur early in the day's agenda. This is the time where the audience members are able to ask any question they wish of a panel of local and national care experts.  

As the caregiver striding across the room finally reached me, she whispered the following in my ear: “I have a question that I think is too stupid to ask in public and so I would like you to ask it for me”. Gee thanks.  But being the kind host for the day, I quickly pointed the microphone in her direction and announced to the assemblage that she had a question to ask of us.  There was one reason for my response and it had nothing to do with cruelty. For, I know that whatever question this caregiver would ask, it would be poignant, appropriate and the furthest thing from stupid. Unfortunately the specific question is lost in the haze of time, but I will always remember what happened next. The lawyer who was serving on the panel of experts, upon hearing the question, slammed the table and said; “I’ve been waiting all morning for someone to ask that very question.” The caregiver glided back to her seat on a cushion of air.

The truth is that  I have never once received a silly or inappropriate question from a family caregiver. Never. This brings us to the first rule of fearless caregiving: Any question you have as a family caregiver is important and deserves to be answered quickly, concisely and with the respect you deserve as a member of your loved ones care team.

This is the city..and the question is yours to ask.

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com