FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN
/ My Dad's Voice
/
Editorial List
Today marks the 19th anniversary of my dad’s
passing. Although many times I am comforted by still
being able to hear his voice in my head, I have
missed him every day since. Everything we have done
for and with family caregivers over these past
sixteen years came about due to watching how
lovingly my mom cared for him and my grandparents
into their final days. I know Dad would have
been right at home (and probably the center of
attention) at our
Fearless Caregiver Conferences.
Dad was a smart, funny and extremely outgoing guy
who loved to tell stories; the kind of guy you can
sit with and talk about any topic, well into the
night. Which is one reason why I constantly second
guess my hesitance about sitting him in front of a
video camera and letting him share himself with
future generations of his family. I know why I
didn’t do it, but I am still conflicted. You see,
when my dad became ill and his strength waned to the
point that he could no longer easily play with his
young granddaughters, his greatest concern was that
they would only remember him as the frail and infirm
man he had become, not as the active and fun grandpa
they had known during the first years of their
lives. So I was hesitant to ask him to sit in front
of a camera only to be remembered in his present
condition. Coincidently, when my grandfather was
first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he had similar
concerns about his great-grandchildren. Yet, in both
cases, they didn’t have anything to worry about; my
nieces adored them and have fond memories of them to
this date, so many years after their passing.
This is why I am interested in how we capture and
share our loved ones’ life stories; not only with
those members of our family too young to remember
them after they are gone, but also for those working
in the long-term care facilities in which they may
eventually live. It is always better for the staff
to know your mom as Penny from Peoria who loved to
play the piano as opposed to patient in room 102.
Actually, I have a feeling Dad would really love
to hear about so many stories being shared.
How I share my loved one’s story
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
