At every Fearless Caregiver Conference where our mom has joined us, we always introduce her as the mother of Today’s Caregiver magazine and caregiver.com.  Truth be told, this is more than just a little accurate.

It was by watching her dedication to our dad and grandparents that allowed me to see what challenges caregivers face on a daily basis. It was into her back bedroom that I trudged with the first pieces of computer equipment we used to start the magazine way back in 1994.  It was her honesty and commitment which allowed her to write an ongoing column called “Phoenix Rising” about her life after caregiving including dating again, identity theft and job hunting as a senior citizen. (Don’t tell her I called her that.)  

I remember being on the phone with her as she was talking with some distant relatives who always commented about how easy this caregiving stuff was.  They just couldn’t fathom the process and wondered why it took Mom so much effort to care for both her dad and step-mom only two years after her own husband had passed following some difficult years of living with cancer.  I truly understood how they were confused about the challenges of caregiving as whenever they would visit, all they did was swoop through town once a year, taking my grandparents out for fast food while they were here. (“See?  Look how easy this caregiving stuff is.”) 

The thing that occurred to me during that phone call (and I was quick to share with these folks) was that not only do little pitchers have big ears, they also have big eyes.  The callers, and conversely my mom, had presaged what their family would do for them if they ever needed care. The love and energy my mom put into caring for our loved ones has become ingrained into the DNA of her kids and her grandkids. And the same thing goes for these unfortunate folks on the other end of the phone line.  

So, for this, her birthday week (Sunday the 16th  and don’t ask what year—why should you know if I don’t?!), I would like to take this opportunity to say to Mom, Thanks for the gift of you.

 

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com