FROM THE EDITOR'S PEN
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Last week I told you about the
informal
Care Advisory Board that my friend put together when he
thought there was some immediate challenges facing his 93
year old mother. One of the most thought-invoking
responses I received was from my friend Heddie Sumner in
Midland, Michigan. I have to admit I am justly prejudiced
towards paying close attention to what Heddie has to say,
because I’ve had the honor to speak at two of her events and
can attest to what a service she offers to the caregivers in
her community.
Dear Gary,
This was a great editorial noting
the importance of involving friends and family. However, my
one concern is that there appeared to be no discussion that
included the mom herself. (There are plans for a 2-week
visit.) The elder needs to be involved in the conversations
about care. Even when there are early Dementia issues (not
specified here), one has the capacity to share wishes and
concerns. At the age of 93 I am sure that the mom mentioned
here has specific wants and goals for her own care.
Long distance caregiving is always a challenge. Having a
core group to assist makes this easier. That group needs to
be aware of Mom’s wants as they have their discussions.
These may not always go down the path of the wants of the
adult children and family. In this era of supporting the
concept of “family centered care” that takes into
consideration the person needing care and the supporting
family, all voices need to be heard in order to develop and
promote a viable plan of action. The multiple issues noted
certainly complicate the matter. Will this be easy? Maybe
not. However, we owe it to our elders to respect their
dignity and hear their voices.
Best wishes to this caregiving family. I encourage them to involve mom in these
early discussions, not later.
Thank you,
Heddie Sumner
Heddie Sumner, RN, BSN
Director of
Education and Resource Development
Senior
Services/Midland County Council on Aging
Heddie,
I am happy to report that as soon as my friend returned
stateside they did sit down with Mom and things are being
handled as a family unit with her in the midst of the
decision making. Some things are better than they had
thought and some not so good, but together I am convinced
they can work it all out.
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
