I contacted my state’s driver’s license division and told them of his poor eyesight.  They required him to take a driving test prior to his license renewal the next month.  He decided he would not pass the test and gave up his license.  I sold his car the next day so he didn't have to do something that would hurt him or others.  It was amazing how he realized this was best for him.

 A.L

My husband died 17 months ago from Early Onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 60. When he was still at home and driving, he received a speeding ticket. This was the first ticket he had received since he was 20 years old. I had been monitoring his driving and trying to decide how to take that privilege from him. The ticket was a blessing in disguise. About 3 months after the ticket, I decided to do it. I talked with our doctor, got the forms from the state, had them signed and returned to the state within 4 hours. When he received a notice from the DMV, he was furious but I blamed it all on “The State”. I reminded him about how we had always joked that “The State” seemed to know everything about us and somehow with the speeding ticket, they discovered the Alzheimer’s. He was upset for a couple of days but then our kids bought him a new bike for Father’s Day and he was fine. He rode that around our small town for the rest of the summer. I hope this helps others. Try to place the blame of some sort of entity that cannot be reached and then be very sympathetic to the situation with your loved one. He could not call the state government so he accepted it and did not blame me for his not being able to drive any longer.

We knew our mom shouldn't be driving AT ALL!! So, there is a form a family member can fill out anonymously and send to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles that states the concern, gives the address of the person concerned about, examples of unsafe driving, wrecks, etc. The motor vehicle people then go to the house and actually administer a driving test then and there. If the person fails, the driver's license is taken away. ...I spoke with her doctor to get her in to get tests done....that was a BIG CHORE...so I told her doctor of an accident she had 40 years ago getting bucked off of a horse since she did have a concussion then....So I told the doctor to tell her that the tests are to see if that concussion from long ago is causing problems with her memory TODAY to get her in for the Alzheimer tests. It worked.

B.G.

My grandmother has dementia, and has been in assisted living and now a nursing home. She hates it when I visit and have to leave. I've discovered there are two excuses that are "acceptable" to her: "I have to go to work", or "I have to go take care of Dad" (my father, her son-in-law, who I really do live with and help). So whenever I have to leave her, I tell her it's always for one of those two reasons, and that's OK with her. And, though there may be other stops along the way, I am nearly always headed to work or home, so I regard it as essentially true.

J. S.

Tell your parent that you want to bring in some outside resources to enable them to stay independent, in their home. They usually like that to the alternative, which is to move to assisted living or skilled nursing.

C. I.

My Father was in the moderate stages of Alzheimer's when my Mother died. We took him up to see my Mother, before she passed. They were able to hug, and we took Dad home. Mom died several days later. I decided that from that point on that, as far as Dad was concerned, Mom would be on a cruise with her favorite girlfriends. "You know the cruise they were always talking about!”

J.W.