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Clever Caregiver
Recently at a healthcare luncheon, the
conversation at my table turned to (go
figure) caregiving. I guess it was an
obvious turn since everyone at the table
was either a family or professional
caregiver, or both. As we discussed the
concept of Partnering with your Parents
(as opposed to Parenting your Parents –
a phrase that is a pet peeve for many of
us at the table),we talked about the
challenges of long distance caregiving.
Nadine, who lives across the nation from
her elder parents, spoke of her folks
and their fierce independence. The best
option for them would be to have in-home
care, but as soon as Nadine would hop
back on the plane to return home after
hiring an aide for them, her dad would
promptly fire her. One thing Nadine
noticed on her trip was that the couple
who lived next door to her parents acted
as their own informal care team to her
mom and dad, making sure that they were
safe, had the groceries they needed and
basically tried to keep a watchful eye
on them. Nadine, the resourceful
caregiver that she is, contracted to pay
these friendly neighbors for their time
and efforts. This ensured a respectful
and watchful support team for her
parents without them feeling that they
were being “managed.” In this manner,
Nadine actually created a sense of
“Transparent Caregiving” for her
parents. They were protected, yet still
could feel the sense of independence
that they desired.
With her first goal accomplished, Nadine
also wanted to ensure that her mom, who
was truly the primary caregiver for her
ailing father, was able to receive some
special respite on a regular basis. So
about once every few months, Nadine
would purchase tickets for her mom and
her mom’s best friend to entertainment
events that she know they would
appreciate. Then each time she visited
home, she would take her mom shopping
for a nice dress to wear on her special
night out. Last month, they went to see
a Josh Grobin concert. Mom is still
talking about that one.
Share your Clever Caregiving techniques.
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
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