I tell the story about being on the phone extension years ago when my mom was having a conversation with a distant male relative about her care for my grandmother. I was shocked (but not surprised) by his flippant disregard about what family caregivers provide for their loved ones.  I may have also been a tad bit flippant in my response to his cold commentary about family caregiving.  I reminded him that not only do little pitchers have big ears, but big eyes as well, and to be careful about what example his attitude sets for his own children, who may be equally as dismissive to him when faced with the possibility of being his caregivers sometime in the future.  

Along these lines, I would like to share an email I received from Marie:

I, too, have a story to share.  Today is 19 years since my mother died.  She was 94 years old.  She had a full life and had nine children, 28 grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. By the time she died, there were only three children and 22 grandchildren left.  All of her grandchildren loved her very much.  She had a lot to share with them.  She taught them values, skills, crafts, cooking, sewing, and loved all of us.  I miss her and think of her almost every day.  She was caring and thoughtful to everyone she met.  Today, I hear stories about her taking care of someone in need.  She was in her mid- forties when I was born, but she was my best friend growing up.  She would do activities with me, even going on a Ferris wheel.  She spoke our native language, Ho-Chunk, most of the time.  I know I am not the only one who feels this way about their mother.   Now I am a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, but I don’t have parents, brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles.  I had a very good role model in my mother.

Thank you for allowing me to share my loved one’s story.

As Marie learned and my relative, to his own chagrin, may never learn, is that, for better or worse, apples do not necessarily fall too far from the tree. 

Share your own story about what you have learned from your loved one

 

Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com