By Kate Shuman
Because
Americans have become such a transient culture, adult children
are now finding themselves having to deal with an ever-growing
crisis: taking on the new-found role as long-distance caregiver.
A recent study on long-distance caregiving showed that the
out-of-pocket expense of caring for an elderly or physically
challenged loved one who lives more than an hour away has
doubled since 1997. It is estimated that long-distance
caregivers spend about $392 a month on phone calls, travel
expenses, medicine, medical supplies, meals, and home
maintenance, as well as other necessities, compared with monthly
expenditures of about $196 seven years ago. Presently,
long-distance caregiver’s yearly expenses are more than $4,700,
which is roughly the same amount of money needed for a year of
community college education. Along with the financial costs,
there’s also the cost of time. About 80% of all long-distance
caregivers are employed, and of this, at least 44% of them have
had to rearrange their work schedules, with the other 36% of
them having to miss an average of 20 hours of work each month in
order to conduct caregiving duties. These costs may even be
higher among those long-distance caregivers who worry about
people in rural areas, where it is not so easy to have a
community agency check-up on them. How do you not only juggle
the caregiving duties of a long-distance nature, but how can you
be sure that relatives in rural areas are getting the care that
they need? In this case, you’re not only dealing with distance,
but you’re also dealing with isolation.
When caring
from a distance for a person who lives in a rural area, you must
first realize that certain services in these communities will not be
as abundant as those in metropolitan areas, due to a much smaller
population. However, living in a rural setting can actually have an
advantage - the closeness which exists among the people in these
communities is genuine and strong - this can be a very valuable
resource. When you visit your loved one in their rural setting, it’s
important for you to get to know their neighbors and friends. By
engaging with this community, you’ll also be able to make sure that
your loved one won’t be isolated when you are unable to be there.
Attend as many community events with your loved one as you can, such
as fairs or church functions. Check with local churches, community
centers, and local service clubs in order to learn about volunteer
and support services which may benefit your situation.
Getting a case
manager can also help decrease the pressure that’s on you, since
they can work with services available in your loved one’s area, like
personal support, nursing services that can come to their home,
delivery of meals, in-home foot care (important for those with
diabetes), as well as help with personal hygiene. When you return to
your own home, be sure and stay in touch with the friends and
neighbors you’ve met. Talking to them will make you feel less
guilty about not being there, and also less afraid for your loved
one’s well-being.
Suggestions
regarding other things you can do to be proactive in the care of
your loved one, even from a distance include:
Investigate the
options for a personal emergency response system for your loved
one’s home. This will allow 24 hour assistance for your loved one
in the event of an emergency; it may be a good idea to leave a key
to your loved one’s home with a friend or neighbor so that they have
quick and easy access to your loved one in case of an emergency;
when you’re back on a visit, plan to meet with the care providers
involved, and have them bring you up-to-date with your loved one’s
progress; create a “communication book” where care providers can
make note of concerns or questions for you, then you’ll have the
ability to follow-up on a weekly basis; prioritize the tasks that
you want to accomplish with each visit; in order to stay focused and
less confused on visits, keep a list of people you’ll need to speak
with; and make sure that care providers know where and how to reach
you, where ever you may be. Here are some other helpful tips:
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