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This Week's Carenote - 07/25/08
I Googled
caregiver and found your website. My sister's
husband has been physically disabled for several
years, although he is still mobile. He also suffers
from anxiety and depression. Over the past five
years, because of constant, debilitating pain and
the subsequent use of strong pain medication, he has
become increasingly withdrawn from his children and
his wife. Worse, his doctor took him off of
antidepressants because of the pain meds. He has
become whiney, irritable, angry and manipulative.
Unfortunately, his physical and mental condition has
recently worsened to an extreme degree. It's almost
as though he's 88 instead of 58. He won't eat,
drive or leave the house and he never has a nice
word to say. In the past he's taken care of the
family finances. As a result of his poor decisions,
the family lives just above the poverty line. My
sister is 42, works full time, takes care of their
two children, her husband and the house. Because of
his increasing confusion, she now has to take charge
of their money and bill paying, which scares her to
death. And he's not making that easier, either.
Bottom line: My sister is exhausted,
drained, and desperate. She feels isolated and has
no one to turn to. I want to be able to refer her
to a supportive online community that can relate to
her experience and will plug her in to resources
that are unavailable to her in her town. I have
sent her a link to your website and the caregiver's
bill of rights. What else do you recommend? Thanks
for any help you can offer.
MM
Reply to Letter | View Comments
| Past Carenotes | Discussion Forum
Name:
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Date: 07/25/2008
Time: 09:10 AM
CommentsFirst, I highly recommend she contact the local Area Agency on Aging for Respite care and other support. They may be able to assist with a medical bill or a late utility bill. I'd also recommend your sister contact the nearest nationally accredited Consumer Credit Counseling Services program. They'll sit with her and her bills to figure out a budget her family can live with. CCC will contact her creditors and work out a payment plan. Some creditors agree to stop the interest charges as long as she's in good standing with CCC. It may take two or three years to get out from under their debt, but it will relieve some of the stress. Perhaps you could go stay with her husband so your sister can take the kids to the park, or so she can sleep, or any of a number of things that may give her some relief. Best of luck.
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