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Lucy in The Sky
Late
last night, as I was returning from a whirlwind two
days at the annual N4A conference in Nashville, I
found myself sitting next to a retired pharmacist
who was returning from his niece’s funeral.
After some brief pleasantries, such as
marveling at the lung capacity of the children
traveling with us, I slipped on my headset and
replaced the rest of the airplane noise with music.
Just
after the flight attendant called for all seats to
be raised to their upright positions, I resumed my
conversation with my row mate. He related that he had been worried about his
sister Lucy’s mental acuity even before her daughter
had taken ill. Lucy had always picked him up at the local
airport when he would visit her; but in recent
years, she had stopped because now she frequently
lost her way in the city where she had lived for
more than thirty years and would have to call for
someone to pick her up. Her family (another daughter is a clinical
psychologist) was concerned, but no one knew what
steps to take.
I
had just spent time with the Area Agency on Aging
director for his sister’s city at the conference,
and told him that his first step was to call the
organization, as well as the local Alzheimer’s
Association, to see what services are available for
his sister and her family. Luckily, Lucy’s city is also home to a
leading Alzheimer’s diagnostics center, and I told
him to make sure she went for an appropriate
neurological evaluation as soon as possible.
This family was aware, able and interested in
taking the steps to help Lucy; but even with all of
the healthcare professionals in the family, they
were still paralyzed about what steps to take and in
what order to take them.
It
occurred to me that taking these first tentative
steps to determining if a loved one has a cognitive
disorder is very much like creating a medical plan
of action. Diagnose, assess and prescribe. First, the diagnosis was made (there was
something amiss with mom); then the assessment of
what steps to take (what are the available
diagnostic options and community resources?); and,
finally, the prescription (how do you help your
loved one realize that an assessment is made not to
create a loss of independence, but to be able to
retain as much independence as possible? who will go
with mom for the testing? and what are the family
plans if the test results shows signs of a cognitive
disorder?).
Most
important of all is to put a timeline to these
steps. This family (including Lucy) has been
discussing the signs of her possible memory
challenges for at least four years. Our conversation must have crystallized
things for him as he said that he was going to spend
next week putting a plan in place.
Now,
that’s music to my ears.
Take care
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
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Rural Caregivers Living in Shadowland |
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By
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Since the adoption of the National Family
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numerous news articles and points of interests written
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Will Your Future Depend on Long Term Care? |
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Try a little experiment. Tie your hands to your sides
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Financial Power of Attorney:
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Carenotes |
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I Googled
caregiver and found your website. My sister's
husband has been physically disabled for several
years, although he is still mobile. He also suffers
from anxiety and depression. Over the past five
years, because of constant, debilitating pain and
the subsequent use of strong pain medication, he has
become increasingly withdrawn from his children and
his wife. Worse, his doctor took him off of
antidepressants because of the pain meds. He has
become whiney, irritable, angry and manipulative.
Unfortunately, his physical and mental condition has
recently worsened to an extreme degree. It's almost
as though he's 88 instead of 58. He won't eat,
drive or leave the house and he never has a nice
word to say. In the past he's taken care of the
family finances. As a result of his poor decisions,
the family lives just above the poverty line. My
sister is 42, works full time, takes care of their
two children, her husband and the house. Because of
his increasing confusion, she now has to take charge
of their money and bill paying, which scares her to
death. And he's not making that easier, either.
Bottom line: My sister is exhausted,
drained, and desperate. She feels isolated and has
no one to turn to. I want to be able to refer her
to a supportive online community that can relate to
her experience and will plug her in to resources
that are unavailable to her in her town. I have
sent her a link to your website and the caregiver's
bill of rights. What else do you recommend? Thanks
for any help you can offer.
MM
Answer This Week's CareNote:
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