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Harry's Dad
I was interviewed by our local National
Public Radio affiliate on Tuesday about long term care. It
was a terrific program with a leading long term care reform
advocate, Steven Moses and a local insurance broker on the
panel with me.
After the program, as we were leaving the
studio, I was stopped by a gentleman named Harry who was
visiting the station and listened to the show in the waiting
room. Harry told me that he was becoming concerned about his
ninety year old father, who lives two counties away. His dad
had always been fiercely independent, living alone and still
driving, but recently had become noticeably frail and was not
allowing anyone into his home. When he visited Harry for the
holidays, he noticed that his dad, who had always been
fastidiously clean, hadn't changed his shirt or showered during
the entire three day visit. He is worried about bringing the
issue up, since his dad had stopped talking with Harry's sister
after she repeatedly brought her concerns up to their dad.
I told Harry that it seemed he had a few
choices. First, it would be great to be able to have his dad
meet with a geriatric care manager for an evaluation and that
Harry should consider trying to raise his concerns with his
dad's doctor. Most important of all is to make sure that his dad
knew that any concern Harry exhibited was not an attempt to take
away his independence, rather to try and partner with his dad to
do everything they could together to ensure his independence and
safety. If every conversation he had with his dad was about how
he needed to stop driving and stop living alone, he could never
gain his dad's trust and see what is really going on in his
life.
I think many times when we are concerned
about our loved one's safety, they already know the issues, but
are afraid that the only solution their kids will come up with
is nursing home care. I know that it is not always
possible to do so, and the frustration can be quite intense, but
it is better to try and partner with your parent than to parent
your parent.
Share your successful tips for partnering with your loved one
Take care
Gary Barg
Editor-in-Chief
gary@caregiver.com
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Feature
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OCD in Elderly for Caregivers |
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By Cheryl Ellis, Staff Writer |
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Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is defined in part
by the Merck Manual as “anxiety provoking thoughts and
urges.”...Continued
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Additional
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An Easy Change |
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by
Hilary
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How many times have you been stuck in traffic and have had a
certain, terrible thought run through your mind,
...Continued
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Caregiver Story |
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The Value of Friendship |
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I’ve learned many things since I began taking care of my
85-year-old grandmother three years ago. I know
which supermarkets offer senior citizens’ discounts on
which days of the week.. ...Continued
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Caretips |
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Back Safety Tips
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Assess your lifting limitations, (do you have back or hip problems, etc)
...Continued
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Carenotes |
I am the opposite of last week's carenote.
I can sleep at nights, if only my 90 year old mother would allow
me to. She just cannot seem to go to bed until the wee
hours of the morning. I spoke to her doctor who has
prescribed/suggested varying meds/methods of getting her to
sleep. Some have worked for a while and then she is right
back to square one.
Perhaps as caregivers, you might have some practical suggestions
for me that have worked. How do I get her to go to sleep
at a decent hour??? i.e. before 3 a.m.
Answer This Week's CareNote:
carenotes/2008/index.htm
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