Doctor appointments that must be scheduled; the
constant care and attention your loved one needs, both physically and
emotionally; the back and forth to grocery stores, drug stores, physical
therapy sessions and, most of all, the need to know you are doing the
"right thing" for loved one in need of your care. We all know
the daily challenges we face as caregivers and that we seldom have time
for ourselves.
But we need time –time to reflect, relax and
rejuvenate for at least few hours each week. This "private time"
gives us a renewed strength to carry on. It's important to take that time.
You deserve it. AND, should not feel guilty about it.
There are ways to allow yourself time away. For an
hour, a day or even a weekend to collect your thoughts and get back on
track. It's okay to do that. Listen, you've got a very important role to
play - if you do not care for yourself, who will step in to care for you
AND your loved one. I want to share with you some of the things I've
learned.
Take the time to read through my "guilt
free" list and I know you'll be a better caregiver for it...
-
Accept the help others offer. Suggest specific
things they can do for you and your loved one. This is rule #1 for a
reason. No one is a Super Hero. Don't feel like you're the only one
that can take dad to the doctor or your wife to her physical
therapist. REACH OUT and ask another family member -- or close family
friend -- to assist you occasionally so you have time to yourself.
Trust in their willingness to help. Many times they do not know how to
reach out and help unless you are able to communicate your needs.
-
Ask for and accept favors such as; a friend
staying with your loved one while you are able to get out of the house
for a while, a dinner being cooked for you and your loved one once a
week, an offer to go to the supermarket or drugstore in your
place. Respite can be achieved on a daily basis with the smallest
of kindnesses.
-
Know
your limits! If you wear yourself out caring for your loved one, who
will step in to care for the both of you? Remember, caring for
yourself is not selfish, it’s the greatest gift you can give
your loved one.
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