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Issues of Control
by Kate Murphy, RN
This week I would like to talk a
little bit about control issues in caregiving. Control
is probably one of the most important things our loved
one can lose. When physical, or emotional challenges
hamper our ability to maintain control in our lives, it
can be a very disheartening and sometimes defeating
situation for both caregiver and care receiver.
We all adapt and alter priorities in our lives as
circumstances bring about changes that affect the way in
which we are able to manage our activities of daily
living. Have you ever been ill, or laid up for even a
brief time? How frustrating was it for you to have to
wait for someone else to take you to the store, or a
doctor’s appointment, or even have a meal? It is not
pleasant. We can get very frustrated when our lives are
disrupted for even a few days. Imagine then how you
would feel if these limitations that prevent you from
doing what you want when you want it were a permanent
part of your life.
Is it any wonder why at times our loved ones get a bit
cranky, or seem at other times to deliberately cancel
plans? For them, it is just one small way in which they
can maintain some control in their life. When there is
little opportunity to assert your own control, even what
might seem to be a small thing to us, can become a very
important issue to our loved one. I would urge you to
keep communication open during these times. By letting
each other know how you are feeling, you may find the
control issues become less important. Life is too short
to waste precious time being frustrated or upset. Enjoy
each moment of the time you have with your loved one. It
will serve to help you through the days ahead when he or
she is no longer with you.
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